so the last few days, what have they been?
a weird performance workshop that wasn’t really a workshop to me but kind of was and ended on an odd note, wasn’t sure what to do with it and where ‘responsibility’ lies when i’m ‘leading’ a ‘workshop’ and someone says something shitty. perhaps the 22nd will be a workshop and not a ‘workshop.’ hahaha.
skateboarding. momentum, fun, gravity. where to put body parts when to make the board and your body do certain things in cahoots with each other. watching and videoing. congratulating each other. falling and a certain kind of laughter shooting out. watching and learning. i am a bit tricky with this one, i get pretty scared and have to get over it but then i find i am doing pretty good with standard skateboarding (insofar as it relates to tony hawk) and i really enjoy non-standard skateboarding like sitting on the board and dancing with it.
we had a really nice time i think when edward was using the drumsticks, and kaia was doing something rhythmic i can’t remember at all, and i was on 2 skateboards reading. i like reading in a specific word pattern (ie say the first word three times, the second word 2, last word 1, and repeat) in conjunction with movement patterns, or doing a word pattern when i’m all tired after moving. not really wanting to place value on what a ‘nice’ time is though it did feel like an exchange between the three of us of the type i am used to tracking.
we played with the tape deck. the belabored sound of a body trying to mimic recorded talking played backward. seeing the effort or only hearing it, if a person has a bag on their head. how to not reify/harden too much.
…in general. how to not create too much of an ontology/attendant affects of what we’ll ‘do’ in olympia. but creating some kind of grouping of ideas and being honestly open to potentialities between ourselves for now. noticing what we are positing, propositioning, saying yes and saying no to.
playing with the synth, that’s rough. i love how dumb it makes me feel, i also hate that, which i suppose means i’m learning. kind of. i find myself enjoying doing it alone but then hitting a point where i don’t know what else to do, that’s learning i guess.
it’s funny, this whole way of being is developing between us…one person gets up, goes out, eventually if not already that person is edward, eventually we end up all at lacuna, then we skateboard, play with the synth, watch stuff, do tape stuff, play around with moving or making sound. that is about as reified as i’d want it to get, in a way, but also not. huh. ‘desire’. ‘want.’
wanting to consider/open up space for new and more challenging ways of thinking about time, oscillating, getting out of sync/phase and creating a parallel rhythm.
i am in a nice liminal space between what actions and states i associate with my ‘body’ and with my ‘mind’.